Count It All Joy

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

James 1:2-4

I have a dear friend who stated this phrase "count it all joy" often from the Scripture above. "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy" (NLT) another version says. 

Our trials reveal a lot about us. They show our true character, the depth of our faith and our perspective. They also shape us. My phrase this last month has been something like, "these things will refine us, but they will not define us." We are not defined by the stuff that happens to us! But God will use our circumstances to mature us and make us more like Jesus. The question is, will I let Him?

It's a tough order to swallow - being joyful/peaceful during trials -  but the truth of the matter is, when hard things come into our life (and they will!), we have a choice. Did you hear that? We choose. And that's one thing this Scripture is telling us - CHOOSE. We can choose fear, worry and angst, which lead to despair and anger or we can choose trust, God's promises and peace, which lead to joy. We often think we don't have a choice because we FEEL a certain way, but in actuality our circumstances and our feelings do not have to define our attitudes and outlook. 

So, why the rant about this? Well, our family has been walking this out these last 6 weeks. We've stumbled. I've cried. A lot. We've gotten back to our knees and prayed. And prayed again. We've shifted our thoughts, our priorities and been humbled. There are some days when I am crying out to God in each moment for peace, another ounce of mental energy and simple patience.

At the beginning of September, Geoff and his long-time business partner split ways, and we started over. We felt early in the summer that he needed a change, but the way it happened and when it happened was a shock and frankly, it hurt. But my husband is awesome. He took the high road, he prayerfully made choices that would honor God but didn't make a lot of sense to the world, and he kept moving forward. I'm so thankful to be married to him. We are going to be ok, and we have been so humbled by the support we have received and the avenues God is opening up.

I also started homeschooling after a summer of prayer and telling God, "Please no. I said I would NEVER homeschool. I really cannot do this." Guess who has the kids at home? Me! We have committed to it for this year, and then we will pray again about what's best for our family. We are a month in. The first day I cried before noon and said to Geoff, "This was a terrible idea." Mind you, all the business stuff had just went down, so I was a bit emotional. Some days are good and some days aren't. But those days that aren't make the good days all the sweeter. 

And the moms ministry (MUMS) I lead at our church kicked off in September after a summer hiatus, which involves lots of planning, organizing and prayer (thankfully, I have a great team). My MUMS team and my pastor and definitely, my husband, have dealt with my "I'm at the end of myself and can't do anymore" tearful episodes.

I have had days where I've felt I had nothing left to give, and with Geoff working some very long days, I am being forced to recognize my limitations. They are real. I'm not super-mom, and God has humbled me and shown me that for a long time I wanted people to think I could do it all. I can't, y'all. And I think being at the end of my rope and recognizing my weaknesses is exactly where God wanted me. Because when you're type A like me, it's harder to recognize our need for God to intervene and harder to ask for help from others. 

This is not a post to list out my woes. We have many people in our lives we are walking with that are in the middle of much more challenging circumstances. I do want you to hear me say though that God is able and regardless of what has happened, our God is still the same. We ask for your prayers during this season of transition. Thank you!