Leila Update

"It’s only by amazing grace you are born where you are — to be abundant, amazing grace for someone born somewhere else." -Ann Voskamp

Is God calling you? Pause and listen. What or who is in front of you that you haven't noticed?

Well, there's never a dull moment with adoption. We received news yesterday afternoon after a recent meeting with Dankarami and Leila's birthmother. Her birthmother said she wants nothing to do with this and that Poihn has full control to choose whether or not Leila is adopted. For Leila, this makes me sad, but I understand from a mother's point of view it probably feels easier to let someone else make the decision. I can only imagine the heartache and pain Leila's birthmother has experienced in her life.

Under Nigerien law, Poihn has legal guardianship of Leila, so as long as Poihn is willing to sign this is very good news for us and Leila. Leila's birthmother also admitted that she has no idea who the birth father is, so we don't have to travel down that road. Poihn told Dankarami he WILL sign the papers for Leila and wants to do it before he heads to the Ivory Coast in the coming weeks. Awesome!!! This also means Geoff will have to go over there to sign the guardianship paper on our behalf in front of the Nigerien notary, which over there is like a high up clerk of court. We are exploring if this is our only option since a plane ticket to Niger is a hefty sum of money.

If Poihn is true to his word, and he signs discharge papers, he will be terminating his rights completely, which means after this we would only have to do the government stuff to complete the adoption. God has opened this door when before Poihn said he would never let her go, so we are incredibly thankful for this new news. Please keep praying for God's favor in all of this and for our sweet Leila to get what she needs while she's still there - food, clean water, affection and love, a safe place to sleep and a glimpse of her heavenly Father.

Niger in Pictures

What a treat it was to be a part of The LINK staff retreat in Niger, Africa this month. We traveled to Park W at the very tip of Niger and near the border of Burkina Faso. There were 5 cars/vans carrying over 30 of us. We traveled for about 2 hours down partially paved roads and some not-so-paved roads (as in clay dust "roads" that prevented you from seeing anything in front of you including other cars and livestock regularly seen crossing the road). 

I'll tell the rest of the story through pictures. 

We arrived at our hotel unscathed and immediately noticed our beautiful landscape - so different from the typical Niger most of us had seen. There was green! 

This is the view from the patio area that we ate most of our meals at. We frequently saw baboons running around. 

And the hotel room. Not much to say here except there were lizards (about 6 inches long) and electricity was on only from 7pm to 7am. We all survived 2 nights, and I slept better the second night after realizing I had no recollection of lizards running around or over my body while sleeping the first night. 

Fati, Halima, Michelle and my two roommates, Cindy and Amy (all LINK staff - some from Niger and some from the US).

Me and my roommates. Love them both.

Hanging out by the pool, which the Nigerien men really loved. It was so sweet to be able to see them enjoying each other's company and hear them laughing and enjoying a rare moment to relax. Many had never been on a trip like this or to a retreat at all. 

The building where we met for the retreat.

A beautiful African sunrise.

No, this was not copied from National Geographic. These are local villagers that live near the hotel. They are bathing, washing clothes and dishes and the kids were just running free all over the rocks. I felt like I'd stepped back in time.

Rodrigo and Michael sharing the core values and vision of The LINK. Erica and I had the opportunity to share Romans 12:6-8 (motivational gifts) with the staff. It was frightening because I really don't like to talk in front of people, but I actually think it went pretty well. I know there are some things I'd do differently next time, but it was a great stretch and grow moment for me!

My dear friend Juanita and sweet Kaila. 

We went out one evening into the park (in cars). We had a guide with an AK-47 leading us, so we were safe...

Hard to believe I've known these two for 15+ years (we went to middle and high school together) and here we are in Africa together - all hoping to grow our family through adoption from the same orphanage. It's very cool how God works, and I was so glad to be with both Thomas and Erica on this journey.

Me standing inside elephant footprints. We did see an African elephant, but he was really far away so I didn't get a great picture. We also saw warthogs, monkeys, water buffalo, crocodiles and a lot of gazelles. 

Debbie and Paul leading us in worship. Most of the time it was in French, but it was still a sweet moment to be worshipping the same God in Africa with His people - both Americans and Africans. He is the same here and there, and their love for Him is humbling and inspiring. 

Baboons.

Now we are back in Niamey, yet there are still women with unfathomable amounts of stuff on their heads and babies on their backs. Amazing. I think I would have borrowed that motorcycle she's walking past.

Forget Whole Foods, this is where the produce is!

We visited another orphanage before seeing Leila and Emmanual (they were still in school). CSEN orphanage is smaller but very well run and overseen by a great Christian couple. Their son is actually here in Virginia at Liberty University. 

One of the 4 month old twins they are currently caring for. 

I don't know her name, but she was as sweet as can be. 

And she loved looking at herself in my phone. 

Fabric store = overwhelming. 

The sweetest ending to my trip was visiting with Leila, which I've already posted about and will post about again as we hear more. They are (for real) actively searching for her birth father to get his signature. Apparently, he doesn't even know she exists, so we pray that this will be in our favor. 

The Lifeline of Grace

Without your grace, I have no hope because my flesh would focus on all the negative things, the challenges, the things that seem impossible. 

Without your grace, I couldn't love well for my flesh wants to focus on me and if I am being loved well. 

Without your grace, I would struggle to forgive myself, the times I fail every day to live up to my expectations, others expectations and certainly your hopes for me. 

Without your grace, I would struggle to forgive others, for their wrongdoings, for their humanness. 

Without your grace, my children would see more of my flesh than they already do. 

Your gospel is Grace. Your good news is Grace. Your gift is grace. We don't have to earn it. We don't have to work for it. It is simply ours to receive.

Thank you for loving me in all my unloveliness. I. Am. So. Grateful.

My Sweet Visit with Leila

(written in the car ride back to the LOC right after my time with Leila)

I had a precious 2.5 hours with Leila. She was shy at first. Michael brought her over to me in his arms. Yes, she is still small enough to be carried pretty easily. And she's 8 or 9. I was nervous to go straight to her fearing the director would be unhappy I wasn't paying attention to the other children. I didn't want to jeopardize anything, and I know he is finicky and watching me given who I am. Once with me, I showed her the sticker book I brought for her.  It took her awhile to understand that I brought it for her. How quickly it disappeared from our hands into some other child's hands, so I had to hunt it down for her. Things don't remain your own for long when you're in a dirt poor orphanage with 70 other children. She clung on to it the rest of my visit. 

We sat and had 5 plus girls join us. I showed them pictures and videos on my camera and phone. They loved seeing videos of Mary-Michael and Frazier. We spent at least an hour decorating pages in the sticker book and painting nails. Leila and I now have the same polish on our toes.(and Mary-Michael, too; we painted hers like Leila's when I came home). Her poor feet showed the wear and tear of living in Africa and living under orphanage conditions. Dirt and cracks that shouldn't be allowed on feet so young. And her fingernails couldn't hide her malnutrition. Her teeth - I wonder if she even has been taught to brush her teeth. Oh, and my poor girl was so thin. Her wrists and arms thin as sticks. She is too thin again and so small for her age. She was so shy and reserved, but she clung to me. I could feel how life had been so hard for her. It broke my heart, but those 2.5 hours were precious to me. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that time. 

The kids tried to get me to jump in their "pool" which is a small concrete circle about 18" deep. I stuck my feet in and was very thankful they didn't push me! Suddenly about 12 kids jumped in. Leila and I jumped back and stood watching with our arms around each other. Her tiny little arms around my waist and mine around her thin shoulders.

We walked away after a bit to sit on the steps and work on the stickers again. We did a few subtraction games in the book and she got the answers correct (even through my terrible attempts at sign language). Awesome! I noticed she was a perfectionist like me with putting the sticker in the perfect place, moving it ever so slightly until she got it right. I chuckled at the irony of us sharing that characteristic.

Soon we had other children join us, including Manny, the sweet little boy Erica and Thomas are adopting. During this entire time, Michael, Dankarami, Edem and Paul (all from the LINK) are meeting with Poihn, Bruno and Sahie (all from Good Samaritan Orphanage). We could see them in a separate building. I wonder if they could see us loving on our children-in-waiting. I hope so. I hope it moved them.

Soon after the meeting concluded, all the men came out. Through Edem (the interpreter), we learned Poihn wanted to speak to us (the hopeful parents) and that he wanted to make sure we were evangelical Christians. He said he couldn't give his children to people he didn't know. He at least had to shake our hands. So, we moved to a shady spot - Leila still wrapped around me. Could he see how much I loved her? I wanted him to remember my face. Remember my love for her and see how she clung to me.

Poihn spoke to Thomas and Erica first. He told them that because of Michael whom he trusted he would allow the adoption. He said a few other things that were hopeful and good news! This was the nicest we'd seen or heard of him being. Then he turned to me. How much I wanted Geoff to be with me in that moment! So, he could see us together, a unit, a support, together parents for Leila. Edem shared that Geoff had been with Leila before because he'd come here with the LINK. I immediately pulled out the pictures I had of Geoff and I together and Geoff and Leila together. He smiled. Then he said Leila's adoption is possible and that I could be her mother!!! He is saying all of this in French, and Leila is hearing it, too (I learned she actually does know quite a bit of French). He said it wouldn't be easy (yes, we definitely know that), and that we can't take these 2 children to paradise and leave the rest of them in hell. We must not forget about the others. We must continue to support them. The crazy thing is that The LINK has continued to support them with tons of money and will continue to do so, as long as he will shows receipts and confirms he is spending the money on the children and nothing else. Sadly, he is the only leader of dozens of organizations the LINK works with that carries on with this sense of entitlement. We rarely hear a "thank you."

We said of course we wouldn't forget the others and wanted to add, we'd likely consider adopting other children if he made it simpler. After he concluded I asked the other leader of the orphanage that knows English if Leila understood. Did she hear that I will be her mother? He grinned, looked at Leila and explained to her. She nodded and started crying and turned into me. Of course, I started crying and just held her. It was so terribly hard. She kept crying and clinging, crying and clinging. I kept hugging and kissing her forehead, telling her it was ok. I said to Bruno, can you please tell her it's ok. He did. She nodded and hugged me. They kept saying, we have to go, it's time to go. How do you leave a child? Knowing each day is against her. She's not getting enough to eat, no one is hugging her and saying I love you. I said to Bruno, please tell her; tell her I love her. He did. She cried some more. My heart continued to break. And I had to walk away.

Niger Bound!

Can't wait to lay eyes on this sweet girl! I received this picture on Tuesday from a friend who is there now. This is awesome for 2 reasons:

1. The orphanage is allowing LINK members to visit, which means my chances of going while in Niger are good.

2. Leila hasn't grown to 5 feet tall, which is my fear - that she'll be all grown up before we get her home! I do want her to grow…just not that fast. 

Thank you for your prayers for me while I'm there and my family while I'm away. Geoff is my biggest cheerleader, and we are blessed to have such amazing grandparent support, too. 

I'm sure I'll have much to post upon my return!