Christmas Time - 2016

I need to get better about posting more frequently so one post doesn't include dozens of pictures spanning 500 hours of life in the busiest month of the year! But alas, my days do not seem to afford me much computer time and lately, my alone time in the mornings is precious and never long enough to fit this in. So, here we are - Christmas 2016 in all its glory. And it was all glory because it was Jesus! A few of my favorite things not captured in these pictures is our advent book - The Greatest Gift - and receiving your Christmas cards. I LOVE getting Christmas cards, like check the mailbox every day til the mail comes LOVE. 

It was really a great month, and I love that the kids are old enough to understand and engage in what and why we are celebrating. It is fun and holy and Jesus all wrapped up when we focus on the right stuff. Not every moment is pretty, and sometimes there is fighting and yelling, but still there is Jesus. He is there waiting for an invitation to offer us grace and truth in the aftermath. Grace because we are still His and still loved. Truth so that we might change and do it differently next time. I love that. 

Grace was my word for 2016. The truth part and accountability and understanding right living isn't usually an issue for me. But falling down, messing up, unattained perfectionism, performance lacking? Yea, I'm not so great at giving out grace in those moments. To others nor to myself. But God offers grace with no strings attached. What a gift and what freedom has come to my life because of that! Wouldn't we all be a little more joyful, a little more kinder and a little less selfish if we just had more grace for one another and for ourselves? Give it out this year, y'all. If you know Jesus, the Holy Spirit is right there to help us. We can't do this alone. Bring more joy to your marriages, your families, your homes. GRACE - free and unmerited favor of God. We can be Jesus to someone in our world by offering what has already been given to us.

Here's us living a life of grace and stumbling and trying again in December 2016.

Hot cocoa by the fire. We consume large amounts of hot cocoa and tea when it's cold. Mmmm.

Breakfast with Santa at Grandma's church with cousins Eddie and Max.

Decorating Grandma and Grandpa's Christmas tree. More fun cousin time!

Decorating gingerbread men and sugar cookies with Emma.

Leila's grade at church sang Christmas carols at a local nursing home. 

Decorating our very first tree from our own land - a fresh cut cedar tree. This was mostly driven by my "budget Nazi" tendencies, but the quirkiness of this tree grew on us. Too bad we had to retire it on Christmas night because it was officially a Charlie Brown tree. But the kids made a paper chain with a hundred plus loops and we just went with the lopsided, thin, homemade look. 

Christmas pajama time (thanks Christian!).

Another momma from Mary-Michael's class and myself planned (ok, she planned and I just did) their class party. It was really fun and Frazier and Leila were able to join in on the fun, too. 

Candy cane fishing!

Riding the DC Metro to Arlington Cemetery for one of my favorite things we did this year. It was INCREDIBLY crowded, but oh-so memorable as you can see from their faces.

We participated in the wreath laying ceremony and paid a very special visit to my grandfather's grave whom I never had the chance to meet. 

We were able to bring his picture from home with us, and I'm so glad we did.

It was really cold and wet and involved a lot of walking. The kids tried really hard not to complain, and we talked a lot about the amazing sacrifices everyone made that was buried there. Military sacrifices always make me cry, and there's no place like Arlington to make you thankful for all they do and have done. I hope our kids get that when they get older.

Celebrating Eddie's 3rd birthday (December 16). 

All dressed up for Christmas performances at church. 

Those are some good looking kids right there.

We loved hosting my Dad and family at our house a week before Christmas. It was particularly special to have my 92 year old Nana come and to just simply be together.

Aunt Christina and Uncle Zach.

Glow-in-the-dark stars might be the best thing right now. They are literally sleeping in the Milky Way as we speak. Stars on the ceiling, the walls, the fan, the lamps, the doors and even the stuffed animals.  I'll be finding those things for the next decade.

My two handsome men.

This picture is for me - to remember my sweet Mary-Michael and her love of reading and writing and Jesus at age 6.

Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's!

Waiting for the present frenzy.

Apparently I said a BB gun was ok a long, long, long, long time ago (like when he was 2 and 5 seemed really old) and Uncle Kam didn't forget. Don't fret, it is currently in a safe. He can't wait to use it, of course. 

Delivering our annual food boxes from Soul Farms. The kids decorate the boxes and pray about where to go. We let them lead, and while they are far from saints, I am so thankful for their childlike faith and that they are learning that they can be world-changers and prayer warriors and examples of Christ's love even at a young age. We met two neighbors, and one couple even came to our New Year's Eve party and church the next day. So cool!

We enjoyed ChristmasTown at Busch Gardens with my Dad and Beth. We went after Christmas, which does not equate to less of a crowd. Wow, it was busy.

But it sure was beautiful. They really do a great job with the lights, themes and shows. This was my favorite scene!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours. 

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

Dear Frazier,

Bubba, Lovebug, my handsome little man...5, are you for real? I told you on your last day as a 4 year old that I was going to keep you up all night and somehow that would make the next day not come. Five is big boy status and this momma is not ready for that. I still carry you like a baby after bath and sing to you at night (it's usually Amazing Grace or Swing Low, but right now your favorite is Jingle Bell Rock). I'm dreading the day you're too heavy or tell me you are too big for that stuff. I'm hanging on to you as my littlest but you are changing by the minute. Sigh.

You are such a boy, my little 5 year old. All rough and tough with ninja moves and boxing punches that are not so easily tamed. I think about a book that connected your Daddy and I on our first real date - Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. That is you - wild and free and full of heart. I pray often for God to use your warrior spirit for Him - for fighting like Jesus did for the least of these, for having a heart for prayer and a heart for God. You are already not afraid to pray and pray often, and I hear you frequently asking people where they go to church with no prompting from us. We know God is going to use you in mighty ways. 2 Samuel 10:12 says, "Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight." That's you, son - strong, a fighter.

It's no surprise with that warrior attitude that you love weapons and all things Nerf guns. I'm amazed at the sticks I find in the house that are precious to you because they are a "prized sword or rifle". The sticks aren't terrible compared to my arch nemesis - the tee tiny Legos. Thousands of them. They may be small but they hurt and have led to many rescue operations out of the vacuum cleaner. Just when I think I've picked them all up, I find them in the couch, under a rug, in the dog's mouth. And I know it is only the beginning. Any box less than 12" with a label that says it contains 486 pieces should come with a big, fat warning label. 

When you're not fighting for Jesus or fighting with weapons, you are fighting with your sisters. Fighting for attention. You love them. You drive them crazy. They don't know what to do with you sometimes except lock you out of their room. You graciously still have a sign on your bedroom door that says, "No one allowed that doesn't like my sisters." Unfortunately, that still hasn't persuaded them to roll out the welcome mat. 

And so you continue your regular prayer for a baby brother. The fact that you were given Daddy's old bunk beds for your birthday has led you to believe you are one step closer to that prayer being answered. No news. We are still praying because some days, I want to hide from my 3 children in the bathroom, and I wonder if I would stay sane if there were more.

Other fun things about you - you make friends with anyone you meet whether they are 2 or 12. You think brushing your teeth and washing up is overrated. You still eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. Carla (the beagle) still sleeps with you, and you are still an early riser. You've officially stopped napping (big sigh), but you can entertain yourself for a long time. I hear you talking out battles and fighting bad guys with Lego men in your hands. You love to dance and cannot sit still. Ever. 

I'll leave you with some pictures and video from your Christmas program at preschool. You are a smart kid knowing all your letters and sounds. It's so cool to hear you starting to read some small words. We love you for ever and for always, Mr. Frazier!

Momma and Daddy

Giving Thanks

If we are breathing and given another day, I believe there is always something we can be thankful for. Thankfulness has been the best medicine for my soul when all I can see are  things not as they should be. Give thanks at ALL times, God's Word says. It is hard to focus on our worries, our hurts, our criticism when we are giving thanks for what is right, what is good and what we can praise God for. Isn't it so much more pleasant to be around a grateful person than a critical complainer? Who do you want to be known as? You choose. No matter what your circumstances, you can choose words that are life-giving or words that tear others down. You can choose an attitude of joy with Christ leading you. I pray you would make the wise choice because we are blessed people, y'all!

Party of five enjoying and early Thanksgiving at Nonnie and Grandad's. 

Look at all those cousins together - 11 in all! 

Celebrating Nana's 92nd birthday. She's amazing! These are her great-grandchildren.

Almost all of the Burrell clan together.

Frazier's Thanksgiving program at The Cherub school. He was a very handsome pilgrim.

Uncle Kam and Miss Hailey playing with the kids at the Lawrence Thanksgiving.

We always enjoy the long dining table of people we get to be with on Thanksgiving Day. 

Kickin' It

We finished our first soccer season for all three kiddos. Soccer was a hit for the girls but not so much for Frazier who has made it clear he'd prefer baseball. This only resulted in one cry session at practice. We enjoyed lots of fans coming out to support the kids, ate a lot of sugary snacks (that's why they played the games, right?) and hollered a lot from the sidelines. Leila played with other 11 year olds who all had many years of experience, and she really did awesome for being a rookie and learning all the terminology. Mary-Michael is a wild card with new things, but she gathered up some courage and really gave it her best. No flower-picking, sitting in the field or whining over all the running. Success! Overall it was a good experience, and we are very happy to have a few weeknights and Saturdays back!

Finally Official

After almost 4 years from the beginning of this adoption adventure, we are officially finished with paperwork and our sweet little lady is a citizen!! 

Count It All Joy

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

James 1:2-4

I have a dear friend who stated this phrase "count it all joy" often from the Scripture above. "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy" (NLT) another version says. 

Our trials reveal a lot about us. They show our true character, the depth of our faith and our perspective. They also shape us. My phrase this last month has been something like, "these things will refine us, but they will not define us." We are not defined by the stuff that happens to us! But God will use our circumstances to mature us and make us more like Jesus. The question is, will I let Him?

It's a tough order to swallow - being joyful/peaceful during trials -  but the truth of the matter is, when hard things come into our life (and they will!), we have a choice. Did you hear that? We choose. And that's one thing this Scripture is telling us - CHOOSE. We can choose fear, worry and angst, which lead to despair and anger or we can choose trust, God's promises and peace, which lead to joy. We often think we don't have a choice because we FEEL a certain way, but in actuality our circumstances and our feelings do not have to define our attitudes and outlook. 

So, why the rant about this? Well, our family has been walking this out these last 6 weeks. We've stumbled. I've cried. A lot. We've gotten back to our knees and prayed. And prayed again. We've shifted our thoughts, our priorities and been humbled. There are some days when I am crying out to God in each moment for peace, another ounce of mental energy and simple patience.

At the beginning of September, Geoff and his long-time business partner split ways, and we started over. We felt early in the summer that he needed a change, but the way it happened and when it happened was a shock and frankly, it hurt. But my husband is awesome. He took the high road, he prayerfully made choices that would honor God but didn't make a lot of sense to the world, and he kept moving forward. I'm so thankful to be married to him. We are going to be ok, and we have been so humbled by the support we have received and the avenues God is opening up.

I also started homeschooling after a summer of prayer and telling God, "Please no. I said I would NEVER homeschool. I really cannot do this." Guess who has the kids at home? Me! We have committed to it for this year, and then we will pray again about what's best for our family. We are a month in. The first day I cried before noon and said to Geoff, "This was a terrible idea." Mind you, all the business stuff had just went down, so I was a bit emotional. Some days are good and some days aren't. But those days that aren't make the good days all the sweeter. 

And the moms ministry (MUMS) I lead at our church kicked off in September after a summer hiatus, which involves lots of planning, organizing and prayer (thankfully, I have a great team). My MUMS team and my pastor and definitely, my husband, have dealt with my "I'm at the end of myself and can't do anymore" tearful episodes.

I have had days where I've felt I had nothing left to give, and with Geoff working some very long days, I am being forced to recognize my limitations. They are real. I'm not super-mom, and God has humbled me and shown me that for a long time I wanted people to think I could do it all. I can't, y'all. And I think being at the end of my rope and recognizing my weaknesses is exactly where God wanted me. Because when you're type A like me, it's harder to recognize our need for God to intervene and harder to ask for help from others. 

This is not a post to list out my woes. We have many people in our lives we are walking with that are in the middle of much more challenging circumstances. I do want you to hear me say though that God is able and regardless of what has happened, our God is still the same. We ask for your prayers during this season of transition. Thank you!