2 Corinthians 3:17

 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

 

Sweet girl,

 

I hope you experience that freedom that I did not know until I was much older than you. It is such a sweet place to be when you trust in our unfailing God and care more about what He thinks than those around you. I love you.

 

Momma 

18 Months

My sweet little boy,

It's true - I have to say boy now. I can't really call you a baby when you are running, saying words and doing everything your big sister does (well, almost everything). You still have me wrapped around your finger. I am admittedly harder on your sister than I am on you, and your Daddy is the opposite, so I hope together we strike a fair balance. And I know it's going to catch up with me, so now that I have this new discipline chart it may not be so easy, and you may not like me much. Sorry bud. It's for your good, I promise.

Your grandma's dream of her son experiencing what it was like to raise a boy with endless energy has come true. Only I'm the one who gets to experience it the most! When I'm not kissing your sweet cheeks I'm calling you a little rascal because you are into everything you shouldn't be. Just this morning I caught you digging in my houseplant in my office, which led to dirt all over the floor. That was after you had smashed the granola bar into the bathroom floor and hurled yourself over the back of both couches. A few days ago I found you on top of my office desk in the pen/pencil jar. And a few days before that you were discovered sneaking in the dog food bin for a snack and a dog food throwing party. Thank goodness for brooms and Swiffers. On that same day you kindly turned the faucet of my tub around so that it was pointing on the floor and turned the water on. Nothing like a huge puddle on the floor to force me to mop. I try and look at those spills as opportunities to deep clean a section of the floor, which rarely gets deep cleaned. You wouldn't believe how clean it is by the dog water bowl. It sparkles most days because you must think the dogs have plenty of water outside and you need to show me that you know how to splash with your feet. Oh Frazier. 

I really do love you to pieces. You are starting to run and are eager to learn new words. You are often saying hot, dog, bye bye, bird, moo (when you see the cow), shish (fish), shoe, wawa (water), night night,  gola bar (granola bar), car and vroom vroom. You love to look at books - your favorites right now are Goodnight Moon and It's Time to Sleep. You think picking vegetables in the garden is awesome, and you can't get peas and beans in your mouth fast enough. You love the outdoors like your sister and are attracted to water of any shape and size. You make a beeline for mud puddles, the hose and the dog water bowl. You love to give kisses, and I mean LOVE. You are incredibly affectionate, and it's so sweet. You eat pretty well, and you really love beans, fruit and pasta. 

Some days you really wear me out, but I sure do love being your Momma. 

I love you Frazier,
Momma

Homestudy

So, yesterday was our 2nd of 3 meetings with our social worker from Jewish Family Services. She came to our house this time, and I think it went well! Geoff surprised me with someone to come help clean the house, which was such a blessing since I've been working more and we were gone so much this weekend. I still managed to get myself in a small tizzy yesterday morning since I wasn't sure what exactly she'd be looking for. It turned out to be much less invasive than we thought. And she didn't care that there were weeds throughout the garden beds we didn't get to or unfinished projects around the house (I think we are just destined to always have unfinished projects!)

Mary-Michael greeted her by waving from the front door as she pulled up, and managed to eek out a hello before she got really shy. Frazier was still napping when she arrived, so we started with answering questions about our parenting style/philosophy, what we like to do as a family and separately, and our faith. Mary-Michael was showing her toys in the midst of this, NOT sitting like a lady on the couch and otherwise, being a 3 year old girl. I was ultra paranoid about her manners, but Geoff reminded me afterward they probably were not going to fail us because Mary-Michael forgot to say "yes ma'am." Alas, he's probably right.

Mary-Michael did really well answering questions she was asked about what she thinks about having a big sister, what kind of toys she likes to play with and what she thinks Leila will like to play with (babydolls, of course).

When Frazier woke up, he was full of smiles (hooray!) and full of boy! We took her through every room in the house and talked about where Leila's bedroom would be. Mary-Michael was eager to show her the dresses in her closet (so glad I didn't choose to stuff things in the closet!) and her dollhouse. She didn't search to make sure our medicine cabinets were locked up, cleaning supplies locked or ammunition was separated like we thought she would. These are all questions in our application, so I guess they just take our word for it.

We will wait to set up our third and final meeting once we know more from Paige's trip to Niger that is in progress as I write this. She is a LINK employee focused on helping coordinate the adoptions and is over there now learning more about the process as she meets with a lawyer, government officials and orphanage directors. She is also planning to find out as much as she can about Leila's birth mother. So, pray, pray, pray please!

One step forward...

Rewind - Nursing and Adoption

So, you may be wondering why I haven't mentioned anything on here about school, which started a few weeks ago. It's not because I have been so busy with class and studying, but actually because I turned down my acceptance. Yes, for the second time! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little embarrassed. For months I had been agonizing over whether or not I should go, especially because I felt like it was what God wanted for me at the time. I was sure I had heard God correctly, so why was I not feeling peace, and why was I suddenly encountering all these God-seeking people speaking words of truth that didn't line up with me going back to school in this season of my life? Ugh.

So, Geoff and I decided to continue to walk it out and take steps toward going until we heard differently (e.g. the door closed). And boy, did the door close! Maybe it wasn't my first choice since it was financial circumstances that arose which closed the door, but alas, it made the decision, and honestly, I haven't looked back or regretted it. That really surprised me - how much peace I felt in not going. Discerning God's will is never easy, but when you find it, you know it.

So, I know it was the right thing even though school, and especially nursing is such a worthy pursuit. For me and where I am right now though, it really is secondary to the mission field and priorities God has put in front of me right now - our family.

So, despite an ugly year with Uncle Sam (oh, the joys of being a small business owner) and uncertainty with my job, we will continue to attempt to live wisely with our finances and pursue what we know for sure we have heard from God because it's been in our hearts since before we met. It's also confirmed right there in His Word - look after orphans. We have started our homestudy again to prepare to adopt a sweet, precious, beautiful little girl in Niger. Her name is Leila, and she is 8/9 years old. I can't ask for enough prayer as this is not going to be an easy process and has already led to many tears. Her birth mother is still alive, so please just pray God would change her heart and circumstances to get her out of the orphanage, so that she can take care of her daughter or that God would soften her heart to say yes to allowing Leila to join our family. See this precious girl with Geoff from a few months ago (February). She is the smaller of the two.

Geoff and I have both spent time with her on our trip(s) to Niger (she is in this post with me here - 5th picture from the bottom painting fingernails). She was drawn to us as much as we were drawn to her. She had been sponsored for years by a good friend of ours, so we have know of her for some time. There have only been 6 adoptions out of Niger. Ever. So, this is kind of unchartered territory. We don't know how long it could take, but we are doing all we can on our side to be ready. Please, please, please pray! For her health, her birth mother, the process, our hearts and that others would want to take care of these sweet children of God. It is not an accident that Paul describes love first as being patient in the 2nd letter to the Corinthians. This will likely take a while, but we know God can move mountains, too!

I will post more soon, but this is our very big news we have been wanting to share! We have had our first of the three meetings with the social worker, and our second one is Monday. At our house! With our children! Awake! Did I say we needed prayer?! We do. Please pray. And don't judge if Mary-Michael tells you she was bribed to be on her best behavior. We just might do that.